Eksamenvoorbereiding

Sukkel jy om aan die leer te kom?

Gee die gedagte dat jy iets moet opsom vir jou ’n pyn?

Hierdie bloginskrywing gaan daaroor om iets wat jy nie kan verander nie, te aanvaar.

A hero is someone who has embraced all of life, not just the blissful parts.

Hoe kan aanvaarding jou help in eksamenvoorbereiding?

Dis heeltemal normaal om van baie dinge in jou dag nie te hou nie. As jy mooi oplet sal jy agterkom hoe dikwels dit gebeur dat jy voel dat iets onaangenaam is en dat jy weerstand daarteen bied.

Jy moet byvoorbeeld leer vir die eksamen en jy wil nie.

As jy uitstel om aan die leer te kom is dit moeilik om deur die werk te kom en onmoontlik vir jou om die feite te hersien en lank te onthou  - dus gaan die kennis nie na jou langtermyngeheue toe nie. 

Dit kan ’n patroon word en dan veroorsaak dit ’n probleem vir jou. Jy kan byvoorbeeld so lank uitstel om te leer dat jy nie jou teikenpunte haal nie.

Hoe aanvaarding van jou situasie jou kan help:

As jy ’n groter mate van aanvaarding in jou lewe te ervaar kan dit baie vir jouself (en vir mense om jou) beteken. Jy kan insig kry hoe om jou potensiaal bereik en jou droom verwesenlik. Miskien weet jy nog nie presies watter loopbaan jy wil volg nie, maar goeie punte maak baie deure vir jou oop!

Ons wil leer hoe om ’n spasie te skep waarin hierdie patroon van werksontwyking ontrafel kan word. Dit hoef nie ’n probleem te word nie.

Dit gaan ook hier oor die wete wanneer jy iets kán verander en hoe om dit reg te doen. Maar soms kan jy dit wat ís, nie verander nie en dan het jy ’n keuse: Wil jy dit met jou saamdra in jou kop, of nie?

Indien jy nie erken as jy ’n weerstand teen leer het nie, kan dit veroorsaak dat jy aanhou tyd mors en té laat begin leer.

Indien jou keuse is dat jy dit nie meer wil saamdra in jou kop nie dan moet jy oplettend wees deur jou dag. Die volgende kan oral in jou lewe toegepas word en dis handig om jouself die volgende vraag te vra en daaroor te reflekteer.

Vra jouself, ‘Wie of wat ontlok op hierdie oomblik weerstand by jóú?’

Dit behels die raaksien, in die oomblik, wie of wat ’n weerstand by jou ontlok. Wag en kyk wat gebeur as jy daarvan bewus word en dit erken, byvoorbeeld, ‘Ek raak bewus daarvan dat ek ’n weerstand het teen... leer/werk opsom/die Wiskunde-onderwyser... ’.  Hoe voel dit? Kyk wat gebeur in jou liggaam... en moet dit nie met jou intellek uitwerk nie. Dit gaan oor die ervaring van laat gaan.

Sommige studente sien aanvaarding as ’n idee en “probeer“ te hard om iets te probeer aanvaar – wat ook nie werk nie. Byvoorbeeld dit is nie om te probeer aanvaar dat dit een van die dae eksamen is nie. Dit neem jou ’n stap verder weg van aanvaarding van jou situasie. Wanneer jy ongewensde gedagtes en gevoelens erken dan verdwyn dit meestal vanself. Dan aanvaar jy dit wat nodig is om te doen.

Laat ek verduidelik:

Slegs as jy dit wat jy nie van hou nie, identifiseer, kan jy dit laat gaan. Jy hoef niks te doen in die oomblik van erkenning van die weerstand nie, dit net benoem (as iets wat losstaan van jouself) en te voel hoe dit voel, dan gebeur dit net – dit los vanself op.

Dit gee jou duidelikheid dat jy weet wat om te doen. Om eenvoudig by jou lessenaar te gaan sit; jou stophorlosie te stel en jou bes te doen in dáárdie studiesessie.

Dit gee jou ook insig in jouself, bv. ‘Ek raak bewus dat ek ’n weerstand het teen... bv. vrees dat ek nie sal onthou wat ek leer nie’. Net wanneer jy die weerstand (teen die gevoel) identifiseer, kan jy dit laat gaan. Dan weet jy om iemand se hulp te vra oor hoe om reg te leer om die feite te onthou.

Wanneer daar nie weerstand is nie, is daar aanvaarding. Ons hoef nie te probeer om ’n beter student/mens te word nie, maar net die weerstand teenoor dinge (en mense) op te gee. En dié proses te laat ontvou en nie té hard te probeer om ’n sekere gemoedstoestand te verkry nie omdat dit gedagtes juis vernou.

Jy is juis oopkop en dapper as jy sien en erken wat jy dink en voel en die regte aksie neem. Dan kan jy glo en in afwagting wees dat jy goeie punte gaan kry!

Lekker leer!

You are here, on this planet, in this life, walking on this ground, breathing this air, and fighting this good fight to find the hero inside of you. Dr. Kelly Flanagan

What is the Complete Study Course?

The Course is meant to give you or your children practical insight on how to learn more effectively and with less frustration. The lessons in this course can help in learning many different subjects and skills. Whether you love language  or math, music or physics or history, you will have a lot of fun, and learn a LOT about how to study!

It is provided to students at school or university level.

Contact Details

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

Effective and peaceful studying

Are you in conflict with your child about studying?

Do you nag, shout, threaten, punish your child, or ignore the issue?

Is this strategy working?

The good news is that you are not alone – conflict is very common and there is hope for your situation!

Instead of the above-mentioned strategies, rely on      ·        Teaching: “Just do it!” – making homework a habit takes less energy and it is a valuable life lesson to develop self-discipline.      ·        Feeding the ‘good wolf’ – praise the positive actions and let them reward themselves after a series of study sessions.      ·        Don’t protect him/her against the Natural Consequences at school, like receiving a penalty for not handing in work on time.

What is the Complete Study Course?

The Course is meant to give you or your children practical insight on how to learn more effectively and with less frustration. The lessons in this course can help in learning many different subjects and skills. Whether you love language  or math, music or physics or history, you will have a lot of fun, and learn a LOT about how to study!

It is provided to students at school or university level.

Contact Details

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

Effective studying - the parent-child relationship

The five main principles of a positive parent-child relationship

1.    Listen and don’t give unwanted advice.

When you look back on your teenage years, can you remember how 

often you did not feel like studying?  Have that understanding for your 

child. 

·         Really hear what your loved one is saying – mirror back to him/her to check what has been said and that you understand.

·         Keep communication open by validating what has been said – that there is logic to what he/she has said and that it makes sense. 

·         Encourage better dialogue by expressing compassion - by putting yourself in the other persons’ shoes and seeing it through their perspective to have empathy. 

2.    In everyday living, do spend some alone time with your child.

A friend had to re-connect with his son without saying a word because that was how dissatisfied his son was with life at that point. It took one year of driving in silence to watch rugby together - while learning about the rules and players to show his interest - before the boy started sharing his stories and experiences of other areas of his life.

This doesn’t mean there is no discipline. You say, “No”, respectfully and your child has to do his/her chores at home - even if he/she has a negative attitude. It is important for them to have that structure.

3.   Avoid heated discussions

It is like touching a hot iron with your hand... you get burned! Don’t try to get your point across when your child is upset. When the direction of the interaction takes the wrong turn, you may say: “Let us pause, rewind and begin again...”.

4.   Synergy

Both parties contribute to the solution instead of one being in control. If necessary, during the study course we shall strike a deal to solve the “study problem unique to each family’s situation” in such a way that it works for both parties.

5.   Awareness

The messiness of everyday life, like being in conflict with your teenager becomes the teacher of the moment. In order to respond differently than before, you don’t attach to how it ‘should be’/ ‘doing it my way’. Instead, you allow/create the space to see more than your previous beliefs. This moment is all you have to make a difference.

What is the Complete Study Course?

The Course is meant to give you or your children practical insight on how to learn more effectively and with less frustration. The lessons in this course can help in learning many different subjects and skills. Whether you love language  or math, music or physics or history, you will have a lot of fun, and learn a LOT about how to study!

It is provided to students on school or university level.

Contact Details

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

Our 2016-journey continues...

The new experiments for the following period are:

• WEEK ONE I want to play some music and dance.

• WEEK TWO I want to sense stillness and stability in my body.

• WEEK THREE I want to engage in small acts of kindness.

• WEEK FOUR I want to take a moment before going to bed to appreciate something good which has happened during the day.

In life, there is always movement - things don’t stay the same - change is inevitable! Change happens in your internal and external world.

The question is how do you go with the flow? (Sometimes your fixed ideas about yourself or a situation or another person’s behaviour leave no room for this flow to happen...)

Jon Kabat-Zinn says awareness is befriending ourselves and our experience.

He points out that awareness or mindfulness is transformative and healing. It doesn’t take the suffering away, but it gives it a bigger basket to tenderly hold and know our pain and that, it turns out, brings healing. Healing is coming to terms with things as they are.

Sometimes, we get mistreated and stripped of our dignity. Other times, loneliness is just loneliness and shame is just shame and pain is just part of being alive.

Either way, the good news is, generally, wounds heal.

-       It is universal. Realising that what you sense in your body or your emotion is experienced by million others at THIS moment (Our circumstances are different, but what we feel, is the same – the fact that you are NOT alone makes it softer and more bearable, doesn’t it?).  

-       Physical sensations in your body constantly change. When you follow your sensations, you see this! You realise that a pain here or there has a lifespan of its own. It is there now, but later it is gone. This makes it possible for you not to identify so strongly with your beliefs about it (What you think or feel aren’t equal to who you are). This makes the mind so much lighter. It is so easy to notice the beginning of an unpleasant emotion, but rarely do you notice the end! Your perspective on life is likely to be less distorted when you also acknowledge the end of difficult emotions. You take note of moments of happiness or calmness, as well. Nothing is fixed forever and you realise that you are not a certain kind of person like, “I am an anxious person” or “I am a happy person”. We tend to limit ourselves and others in that way that we tend to think one dimensionally. We tend to label ourselves and mostly in a negative way. Instead, we want to allow a range of possibilities and the freedom to change. 

It isn’t about thinking about change or looking for change, but allowing change to happen in spite of uncertainty that we experience.

Keeping it light and being curious about what is about to unfold opens ‘more room to move’. You don’t force things to happen because that prevents change. When thoughts or feelings are unsettling you might want it to be different; causing resistance, you hold things in place and don’t allow life to flow; instead you want to provide the conditions for change to happen. You are resting in the uncertainty of one moment unfolding at a time (during your mindfulness exercise) and not knowing, anticipating or expecting what to come next. You have to step back and not control it, but acknowledge that it has its own pace and time and being kind and patient with yourself.

Non-judgemental paying attention is a key factor in this regard. It is to witness a sensation, a feeling or a thought in the moment in everyday life (and when it changed or when it came to an end). It is very normal to notice how much you are judging. Letting it ‘rain down’ in this moment... instead of it having to be one way or another.

The messiness of everyday life, like being in conflict with your teenager becomes the teacher of the moment. In order to respond differently than before, you don’t attach to how it ‘should be’/ ‘doing it my way’. Instead, you allow/create the space to see more than your previous beliefs. This moment is all you have to make a difference. If you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you.

There is more freedom in your mind and room to ENJOY your life! Your life really matters, now.



The Attitudes of Mindfulness

Beginners' mind
Acceptance
Trust
Patience
Non-judging
Non-striving
Gratitude and generosity
Letting go

The roles of stress and focus in Studying

Are you relaxed to create?

1. You practise sensing the body following the movement of your natural breathing to be balanced between being relaxed and ready (for focused flow) - with the intent of being aware of this present moment.

Studies show that if you take 30-second pauses to sense your body during your day, you will increase energy up to 50% and improve productivity up to 15%.

2. In everyday life, it is less stressful if you are present with your process – when studying, for example, flowing from one portion of a subject to the next. Feel free to read my blog post about allowing in the sanctity of simplicity. 

3. Know that you will master the difficulties in your study material with spaced repetition. Going back and fro between focus and rest (like a game of ping-pong) is important to finding solutions and to master anything. Do these by dividing your time into 25-minute sessions of focus with 5-minute breaks. Give yourself a reward after finishing 8 of these sessions.

Tips for your exam preparations:

•           Use a timer to help you divide your day into sessions.

•           Space repetitions of your work over a number of days/weeks.

•           Plan sessions the night before and note what time you will complete your tasks the next day.

•           Be present in only one session, in the moment as it happens.

•           Reward yourself after completion of planned sessions.

•           Believe in your own abilities.

***

What is the Complete Study Course?



The Course is meant to give you or your children practical insight

 on how to learn more effectively and with less frustration. The
lessons in this course can help in learning many different subjects and skills.
Whether you love language or math, music, physics or history,
you will have a lot of fun, and learn a LOT about how to study!


It is provided to students on school or university level.

There are 2-week Courses available during the holiday!


Contact Details

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

The role of Focus in Studying

Modern psychologists refer to this state of absolute absorption or concentration in what we are doing, as being "in flow."

Focus.

 As a child, I remember teachers at my school shouting at us to “Pay attention!”, but yelling at someone doesn’t train anyone to focus.

Paying attention, luckily, is a skill that can be learned.

                                                                                                       Photo Credit: Unsplash


What are the instructions for focusing?

• The ability not to be distracted and
• Deliberate attention on one thing at one time

What are the ingredients of focus for making it sustainable?

• ·    Spaciousness and lightness (a softness, instead of an intense focus)
• ·    Interest and curiosity (Asking for example, ‘How does my body/body part feel? Light? Heavy? Tight? Opening up yourself – pausing playfully - and not hurrying this answer.)

Why do you get to know your strengths in the Study Course?

There are modalities in your brain that work better for you to pay attention. Some people have to hear to focus well while others have to see the information or feel it more intuitively with their bodies. Each one has to know their dominant modality to orientate themselves. In the Complete Study Course, you discover what this is. It is like tuning your instrument before tuning it together with other instruments of an orchestra (i.e. at school).

Tuning your instrument is an analogy of getting in touch with yourself and it balances the doing with being. You use what you are naturally drawn to – visualisation, listening or feeling – to get in touch with yourself and to study more effectively.

Meditation is a practice of training your mind to focus and be more present and remind yourselves when you are distracted. It is removed from the business of life and activities. 

And then, on the other hand, there is the application of mindfulness. The latter is using the new sense of calm and ease and applies it to activities like studying. You will find focused flow creeping into all activities of your life. Have a look at Yuja Wang playing the piano “in flow”.

During the sessions in this course we apply memory techniques that suit your strengths.

2-week Courses available during the holiday. 

To book contact:

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

Stress Management in Studying

3 tips for Stress Relief.

Our lives and the lives of our children are filled with so much stress that at times many of us get overwhelmed.

For instance, how many of you are multi-tasking? We don’t have enough moments in our day to get it all done. Research has shown that doing two things at once reduces the quality of the outcome of either of the one.

1. The time has come to balance the doing with being. 

Even Olympic athletes start preparing by meditating. You can substantially improve your performance in this way because it is your mind that gets in the way!

For example, you tell yourself you need to fall asleep quickly because of the next day’s test. This stimulates more thoughts in the opposite direction which causes you to remain wide awake instead of closer to sleep.

2. Your perspective about stress affects its impact on your health and performance.

How do you see stress?

•      See stress as a sign that you have a meaningful life and you are involved in things that bring growth. You care about something!

•       Embrace the belief that stressors help you to do your best. Instead of “This test frightens me,” rather learn to adapt an attitude of “This test encourages me to do my best!” 

3. Stress buster: physical exercise

It turns out that your gym sessions are doing more than just lowering your stress levels – they can actually mimic the effects of antidepressants.