Our 2016-journey continues...

The new experiments for the following period are:

• WEEK ONE I want to play some music and dance.

• WEEK TWO I want to sense stillness and stability in my body.

• WEEK THREE I want to engage in small acts of kindness.

• WEEK FOUR I want to take a moment before going to bed to appreciate something good which has happened during the day.

In life, there is always movement - things don’t stay the same - change is inevitable! Change happens in your internal and external world.

The question is how do you go with the flow? (Sometimes your fixed ideas about yourself or a situation or another person’s behaviour leave no room for this flow to happen...)

Jon Kabat-Zinn says awareness is befriending ourselves and our experience.

He points out that awareness or mindfulness is transformative and healing. It doesn’t take the suffering away, but it gives it a bigger basket to tenderly hold and know our pain and that, it turns out, brings healing. Healing is coming to terms with things as they are.

Sometimes, we get mistreated and stripped of our dignity. Other times, loneliness is just loneliness and shame is just shame and pain is just part of being alive.

Either way, the good news is, generally, wounds heal.

-       It is universal. Realising that what you sense in your body or your emotion is experienced by million others at THIS moment (Our circumstances are different, but what we feel, is the same – the fact that you are NOT alone makes it softer and more bearable, doesn’t it?).  

-       Physical sensations in your body constantly change. When you follow your sensations, you see this! You realise that a pain here or there has a lifespan of its own. It is there now, but later it is gone. This makes it possible for you not to identify so strongly with your beliefs about it (What you think or feel aren’t equal to who you are). This makes the mind so much lighter. It is so easy to notice the beginning of an unpleasant emotion, but rarely do you notice the end! Your perspective on life is likely to be less distorted when you also acknowledge the end of difficult emotions. You take note of moments of happiness or calmness, as well. Nothing is fixed forever and you realise that you are not a certain kind of person like, “I am an anxious person” or “I am a happy person”. We tend to limit ourselves and others in that way that we tend to think one dimensionally. We tend to label ourselves and mostly in a negative way. Instead, we want to allow a range of possibilities and the freedom to change. 

It isn’t about thinking about change or looking for change, but allowing change to happen in spite of uncertainty that we experience.

Keeping it light and being curious about what is about to unfold opens ‘more room to move’. You don’t force things to happen because that prevents change. When thoughts or feelings are unsettling you might want it to be different; causing resistance, you hold things in place and don’t allow life to flow; instead you want to provide the conditions for change to happen. You are resting in the uncertainty of one moment unfolding at a time (during your mindfulness exercise) and not knowing, anticipating or expecting what to come next. You have to step back and not control it, but acknowledge that it has its own pace and time and being kind and patient with yourself.

Non-judgemental paying attention is a key factor in this regard. It is to witness a sensation, a feeling or a thought in the moment in everyday life (and when it changed or when it came to an end). It is very normal to notice how much you are judging. Letting it ‘rain down’ in this moment... instead of it having to be one way or another.

The messiness of everyday life, like being in conflict with your teenager becomes the teacher of the moment. In order to respond differently than before, you don’t attach to how it ‘should be’/ ‘doing it my way’. Instead, you allow/create the space to see more than your previous beliefs. This moment is all you have to make a difference. If you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you.

There is more freedom in your mind and room to ENJOY your life! Your life really matters, now.



The Attitudes of Mindfulness

Beginners' mind
Acceptance
Trust
Patience
Non-judging
Non-striving
Gratitude and generosity
Letting go