Healing and growth happen through the following attitudes of
Mindfulness:
One of
the reasons that mindfulness is really catching on is that it can be delivered
in a way that is stripped of any religious connotations, making it entirely
acceptable to the wider population.
‘Letting go’ is the opposite of both, and it is allowing things to be as they are.
Noticing and noting thoughts and feelings are crucial elements of awareness.
This is your choice to break the loop of adding stress to the situation. The
body gets at ease and the mind gets clearer and happier when practising
awareness. This provides the ideal environment for change to happen.
Realise when you are being distracted by a thought, emotion
or sensation. Step back from fuelling it with more stressful thoughts. Witness and label the sensation, feeling or
thought in the moment, e.g. ‘I’m aware of... a thought/feeling/pain’ in the
moment and be present again. To release it, you must take notice of it. Releasing
it is almost like flushing it out through your body. (You may also release it
with laughter with your friends.)
You will probably be shocked to see how many times in your
day you get lost in a distraction or resist it. Non-judgemental paying attention is a key factor in this regard.
You wake up to recognise the judging – just let it ‘rain down’ in this
moment... instead of it having to be one way or another.
It isn’t about thinking about change or looking for change,
but allowing change to happen in spite of uncertainty that we experience.
Keeping this moment light
and playful (and your laughter is yet again so helpful in this regard) and being curious about what is about
to unfold opens up space in the mind and helps you not be caught up in your
thoughts and emotions. Forcing things to happen prevents change. When thoughts
or feelings are unsettling you might want it to be different; by resisting it,
you hold things in place and don’t allow life to flow; instead you want to
provide the conditions for change to happen. If you are not anticipating or
expecting what to come next, you are able to rest in the uncertainty of
one moment unfolding at a time and the ‘not knowing’. You have to step back and
not control it. ‘Non-striving’ means
just being with what is, because it is sufficient.
To have both doing and not-doing (just being) is necessary in
order to be productive with your ‘do to list’.
Acknowledge that change has its own pace and time. Be kind
with yourself and patient with the
situation... and cultivate trust, also in your body’s wisdom.
It is helpful to notice small changes in our life. Physical
sensations in your body constantly change. When you follow your sensations, you
see this! You realise that a pain here or there has a lifespan of its own. It
is there now, but later it is gone. This makes it possible for you not to
identify so strongly with your beliefs about it (what you think or feel aren’t
equal to who you are). This makes the mind so much lighter.
It is so easy to notice the beginning of an unpleasant
emotion, but rarely do you notice the end! Your perspective on life is likely
to be less distorted when you also acknowledge the end of difficult emotions.
You take note of moments of happiness or calmness, as well. Nothing is fixed forever
and you realise that you are not one kind of person like, “I am an anxious
person” or “I am an unhappy person”. We tend to limit ourselves as well as
others in that way that we tend to think one-dimensionally. We tend to label
ourselves and mostly in a negative way. Or we get involved in our thoughts and
become it. It can be liberating to become aware that you are not stuck in a
certain way – now you feel different than before. You realise that you have
both pleasant and unpleasant emotions. You want to allow a range of
possibilities and the freedom to change.
The messiness of everyday life, like being in conflict with
someone becomes the teacher of the moment. In order to respond differently
than before, you don’t attach to how it ‘should be’
or ‘doing it my way’. Instead, see what it is you are resisting now, put it in
words, and release it to move closer to acceptance.
You allow/create
the space to see more than your previous beliefs – to administer this moment
becomes effortless and it is all you need to
make a difference.
If you are breathing, there is more right than wrong with
you. When you take that into account, you are able to bring gratitude for being alive into the moment.
There is more freedom in your mind to embrace emotions
without getting lost in them and room to give yourself over to life in the
moment. If you think of all the good people and the good things in your life,
you can imagine them as islands in a rough ocean (If that is what your life
seems like at this moment?). These are spaces or sanctuaries for you to
replenish your energy and nourish yourself. You are able to ENJOY your life and also to give other
people what would make them happy. This
generosity celebrates our interconnectedness.
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Naomi Shihab Nye writes, “Then it is only kindness that makes sense
anymore / only kindness that ties your shoes / and sends you out into the
day to gaze at bread, / only kindness that raises its head / from the crowd
of the world to say / It is I you have been looking for, / and then goes
with you everywhere / like a shadow or a friend.
One of the
reasons that mindfulness is really catching on is that it can be delivered in a
way that is stripped of any religious connotations, making it entirely
acceptable to the wider population.
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