What makes you really happy?

Happiness

What, in your day, leaves you with contentment?

The following support a feeling of happiness:

Kindness expressed towards others and yourself.

Andy Puddicombe of Headspace, tells the story of a Tibetan prisoner who spent 27 years in a Chinese POW camp. He eventually escaped and travelled over the Himalayas to India, where he met the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama asked him how he managed to survive so many years of torture, of being stuck in a place of such misery. He asked, “Did you not fear for your life?” and the man replied, “The only thing I feared was losing my compassion, my sense of kindness towards others.”

It shows the power of our perception and how, even when confronted by death, we can still find that sweet spot within. In short, we want to focus less on the external circumstances and more on the internal. Internally, the habitual patterns, or our conditioning, can sometimes be very strong. So we may naturally have a restless mind or frequently feel frustrated, irritated, sad, critical and so on. We might mistakenly believe this to be who we are or the sum total of the mind, forgetting that thoughts and feelings are simply on the surface of the mind.

Reports from the last few thousand years appear to match the more recent scientific findings – when we let go of thought - that endless commentary which questions and doubts and obstructs our innate happiness, we experience something more spacious, less judgmental, more empathetic.

• ·         A playful attitude

Develop a lighter, more playful attitude to life in order to experience more fulfilment, satisfaction and an understanding of how your own happiness impacts others. Keeping the mind playful, light and curious about what is about to unfold supports happiness. Sometimes this innate sense of enjoyment gets obscured by what you do. Letting go of what you do can naturally bring you back to joy.

• ·         Awareness of critical thoughts

What do you do that gets in the way of your happiness? Are you critical of yourself as well as critical of other people? Rather be aware of the thoughts that arise and understand it in relation to your experience or someone else’s experience. You may get mentally imprisoned by habitual judging thoughts like, “I should/He shouldn’t...”/ “This is good or that is bad” / “I don’t want this...” – which doesn’t allow us to see the moment and to live authentically in it.

• ·         Balance and even mind.

Notice what throws you off of that innate happiness in your day. Notice what disturbs that innate balance - is it internal thoughts or overwhelming emotions or external factors (for example certain people that upset you)? Instead of going into a story, reconnect with that evenness or balance that was always there.

Whilst we can't always be prepared, knowing what or who throws you off balance will help you to remain in the present moment next time.

• ·         Count your blessings

Notice what you have and can do. Appreciate the moments you are aware during your day. Awareness meaning feeling your breath moving in and out of your body – approaching it gently like you would watch a shy animal in the wild.

• ·        Physical exercise

It turns out physical exercise are doing more than just lowering your stress levels – they can actually mimic the effects of antidepressants. The great news is that it doesn’t take much to reap the benefits – moderate exercise, brisk walks, even just 30 minutes a day – can power up your brain to renew itself and keep you sharp as a tack as well.

• ·         De-clutter

Spring clean and de-clutter your home. Clearing out helps you take stock of yourself. It’s a way of empowering and respecting yourself.

Visual reminders of working life will continue to trigger old thoughts, feelings, and behaviours for as long as they are there.

• ·         Empathy

Empathy is putting yourself in another’s shoes instead of feeling pity for them. If you want  to practice compassion, notice the “I”, “me” or “mine” in your thoughts. By listening you give an act of love and it feels good to be heard.

***

When your focus is on the happiness of others you find balance in your life.

Contact Details:

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

Our adventure continues...

Breaking our habits is a journey. 

We long certainty in our careers, relationships, in health and in life. Instead, there is uncertainty.

We are able to control or influence just a few of these - from our side!

Instead of being concerned about things we can’t control, let us wake up to this moment. Let us befriend uncertainty. Let us change certainty into curiosity – genuine interest, like watching an exciting movie - and stop operating on autopilot!

                                                                                                    Photo Credit: Unsplash

Keep in mind that this journey is about repeating the same activity during the whole week. This might seem boring, but we do it to train the mind in being mindful. The goal is not to achieve anything, but to build a strong foundation. It gives you the sense of more space in your mind and confidence in your life.

By not achieving anything, I mean not getting rid of an unwanted emotion like an unpleasant emotion, but having a different relationship with it. Regarding that emotion, instead reflect for a moment, how would you relate to a friend? You probably would be doing it without thinking I want to achieve something. It is like that!

The new activities for the following weeks are:

• WEEK ONE I want to pay attention to the sensation of (the temperature of) the water when I shower or take a bath.

• WEEK TWO I want to read or watch something funny, daily.

• WEEK THREE I want to pay attention to my physical sensations when I am going to change my posture - for example when I am sitting down or standing up – at least 5 times each day.

• WEEK FOUR I want to live mindfully and with intent - to be clear what I am going to do next. To be present with that activity I am doing. Simply being aware of my feet when I am walking for example and not changing the way I do it. I am permitting thoughts or feelings to arise, and (gently...) noting them and then simply being present to what I am doing.

Watch the Headspace animation to understand how a sense of more space is created in the mind. 

Why should I do mindfulness training? 

It leads to peace of mind and wellbeing, greater focus and creativity and better relationships. Achieving a lot by not trying to, isn’t it?

***

What is the Complete Study Course?

 

The Course is meant to give you or your children practical insight on how to learn more effectively and with less frustration. The lessons in this course can help in learning many different subjects and skills. Whether you love language or math, music or physics or history, you will have a lot of fun, and learn a LOT about how to study!

It is provided to students at school or university level.

Contact Details

Lucia Brand
082 782 4747
luciabrand@cybersmart.co.za

What is mindful studying?

1

  THE COMPLETE study COURSE - A MINDFUL APPROACH

  Mindful studying refers to the quality of being conscious of how you learn. 

1. Although you keep in mind where you have come from and contrast that with the dream of where your studies will take you; 

2. you achieve a mental state by focusing your awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

  This includes noticing, acknowledging and changing behaviours that do not serve you, like

thinking you can learn deeply when you are being constantly distracted. 
Every tiny pull toward an instant message or conversation means you have less brain power to devote to learning. Every tug of interrupted attention pulls out tiny neural roots before they can grow.

 

      And another is going to bed too late. 

Your brain pieces together problem-solving techniques when you sleep, and it also practices and repeats whatever you put in mind before you go to sleep. Prolonged fatigue allows toxins to build up in the brain that disrupt the neural connections you need to think quickly and well. If you don’t get a good sleep before a test, NOTHING ELSE YOU HAVE DONE WILL MATTER.